THIS is TRUTH - I should stop allowing over laziness spelling mistakes

... I just realized, it does not enhance message strength
I should make a effort, overcome the boredom of reading my own words twice and always do a spell check.

With the help of God ( and spellchecker)

THIS is BIRTHDAY - happy birthday D-A-D XXX

Feliz aniversario pai,
viajante, tourista louco
amante da musica classica
e da arte vitral, medieval e

beijo grande renascentista
da filha
Londrina

xxxxxxx !

THIS is a WINNER - best 2011 photos so far

My best 2011 photo so far. I am glad I attended that night, Marks impro. was  one of the funniest things Ive seen for a while -  and I was really surprised on the dynamics and structure of the play and the level of the actors- I felt familiar with the structure and amazingly distant from the level of acting ( in a good way to the actors and in a not so good way to myself).

Anyway, as a consequence of the evening i got a couple of floor over feet swapping tandas with Mark ( as he rightly says -  with me there are no BEGINNERS ; ) and what i consider to be to this point the best photo of me in 2011 -  I wonder what daunting things I was hearing from Veena to produce such drastical face expressions ? who knows - I dont.

Thanks Tom for capturing this - s=p=e=c=i=a=l  moment.

from this

to this (?)

THIS is GOODBYE - GILL SCOTT HERON 2011 - The REVOLUTION will NOT BE TELEVISED

Adeus e obrigada to big one who came, did his work and left.

Gill Scott Heron one of my favorite artists, poet and activist died age 62 - alone. That is of little relevance compared to what he left us with - his knife cutting social, racial confronting poetry blended perfectly with his unique sense of musicality - to many the father of rap ( i DONT think this is the best way to describe him or remembering him though - he was just a ONE, UNIQUE black panther POET and ARTIST - nothing could really follow his line of work, because he was UNIQUE and only GILL SCOTT HERON could give continuity to its own voice - and now is forever silent).

Curiously, I grabbed my mind his troubled personal existence in this world, as a human being dominantly marked as a man, a lonesome one - statistically it has been gradually proven over the past 50 years or so - that single men tend to die young - I guess being totally free, having nothing to care fir unless your own personal interests may in some way put these man in a more vulnerable position when confronted with the male/ testosterone cravings - a craving for somehow danger situations - consequently increasing exposure to risk behavior during a lifetime (sex, drugs, alcohol, violence).

So being free, may be the ultimately dream, but that also, like all other things has a price with it. Truth is, for both sexes, having something in your life that you are deeply responsible for ( a wife, a husband, a family, a job, a career ) will ensure your changes of longevity because you will not be so prompted to engage is risk anymore.

But will safety bring us happiness long term?
Good question - im still looking for an answer o this one.

Rest in Peace Gill Scott H.

and as for all the revolutions waiting there to happen ( social, political or personal ones ), let us not forget that all THESE Revolutions asking to happen WILL NOT TELEVISED, or BLOGVISED or FACEBOOKTISED or INTERNETISED.


the REVOLUTION will put YOU in the DRIVERS SEAT,
the REVOLUTION will happen live.

the REVOLUTION will not be TELEVISED because
the FIRST REVOLUTION is when you CHANGE your MIND
about HOW you LOOK at THINGS
and see there may BE ANOTHER WAY of LOOKING AT THINGS
that you HAVE NOT BEEN SHOWN YET.




THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED



You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat
hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by the
Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie
Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.
The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.
The revolution will not make you look five pounds
thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the proper occasion.

Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and
women will not care if Dick finally gets down with
Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock
news and no pictures of hairy armed women
liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom
Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be right back after a message
bbout a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver's seat.

The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.


MESSAGE  to MESSENGERS

And if they really knew the truth...why would they tell you? 


Remember...keep the nerve
Keep the nerve 
Keep the nerve
Keep the nerve
...I'm talkin' about peace





Hey, yeah, were the same brothas from a long time ago
We was talkin' about television and doin' it on the radio
What we did was to help our generation realize
They had to get out there and get busy cause it wasn't gonna be televised

We got respect for you rappers and the way they be free-weighin'
But if you're gon' be teachin' folks things, make sure you know what you're sayin'

Older folks in our neighborhood got plenty of know-how
Remember if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be out here now
And I ain't comin' at you with no disrespect
All I'm sayin' is that you damn well got to be correct
Because if you're gonna be speakin' for a whole generation
And you know enough to try and handle their education
Make sure you know the real deal about past situations
It ain't just repeatin' what you heard on the local TV stations

...Sometimes they tell lies and put 'em in a truthful disguise
But the truth is that's why we said it wouldn't be televised 

They don't know what to say to our young folks, but they know that you do
And if they really knew the truth...why would they tell you? 

The first sign is peace, tell all them gun totin' young brothas 
That the man is glad to see us out there killin' one another
We raised too much hell when they was shootin' us down
So they started poisoning our minds tryin' to jerk us all around 

And they tell us they got to come in and control our situation
They want half of us on dope and the other half in incarceration


If the ones they want dead ain't killed by what they instigated
They put some dope on a brotha's body and claim it was drug related

Tell them drug related means there don't need to be no investigation
Or at least that's the way they're gon' play it on the local TV stations

All your 9-millimeter brothas...give them somthin' to think about
Tell them you heard that this is the new word, they got to work that stuff out
But somehow they feel in the wrong way with a gun in their hands
They feel real independent...but they just pullin' contracts for the man

Five and five will tell you it's hopeless out there on the avenue
But if they really knew the truth...why would they tell you?

And if they look at you like you're insane
And they start callin' you scarecrow and say you ain't got no brain

Or start tellin' folks that you suddenly gone lame
Or that white folks had finally co-opted your game
Or worse yet implying that you don't really know...
That's the same thing they said about us...a long time ago

Young rappers, one more suggestion before I get out of your way 
But I appreciate the respect you give me and what you got to say 
I'm sayin' protect your community and spread that respect around
Tell brothas and sistas they gotta calm that bullshit down
Cause we're terrorizin' our old folks and brought fear into our homes
And they ain't got to hang out with the senior citizens
Just tell them, “Dammit...leave the old folks alone”

And we know who rippin' off the neighborhood, tell them, “That BS has got to stop!”
Tell them you're sorry they can't handle it out there 
But they got to take the crime off the block

And if they look at you like you're insane
And they start callin' you scarecrow and say you ain't got no brain
Or start tellin' folks that you suddenly gone lame
Or that white folks had finally co-opted your game

Or worse yet saying that you really don't know...
That's the same thing they said about me a long time ago
And if they tell folks that you finally lost your nerve
That's the same thing they said about us, when we said, “Johannesburg”

But I think the young folks need to know, that things don't go both ways
You can't talk respect of every other song or just every other day

What I'm speakin' on now is the raps about the women folks
On one song she's your African Queen on the next one she's a joke
And you ain't said no words that I haven't heard, but that ain't no compliment
It only insults eight people out of ten and questions your intelligence

Four letter words or four syllable words won't make you important
It'll only magnify how shallow you are and let everybody know it

And if they look at you like they think you insane
Or they call you scarecrow thinkin' you ain't got no brain
Or start tellin' folks that you suddenly gone lame
Or that white folks have finally co-opted your game 
Or you really don't know...They said that about me a long time ago
If they finally start to tell people that you lost your nerve
That's what they said about Johannesburg

You ain't insane...you have got a brain
You haven't gone lame; you have got your game

Remember...keep the nerve
Keep the nerve 
Keep the nerve
Keep the nerve
...I'm talkin' about peace

THIS is PSYCHOLOGY - emotional negative patterns and beliefs male/ female - QUOTE SCRAPBOOK

In here I plan to keep a written record of passages I have came across that caught my intention, or that I find are particulary well resumed to the essence varied emotional negative belifs / patterns.

on OPEN RELANTIONSHIPS

. Open relationships enable people to have no responsibility to anybody and to have their cake and eat it. If anybody wants to be open in this way, you’re not in a relationship in a typical sense of the word.

. Engaging in open relationships relies on minimal emotion being involved and there are many
people, especially women who choose to put up with this scenario assuming that something would change.

on EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABLE personality traits

. Unavailables tend to be very routine, very self centred, and very caught up in their own plans,
and this is a classic example of their unwillingness to budge and be available to you properly.

on LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

. He is yet another person who is hedging its bets and also massaging its ego with the knowledge
that there is someone in another area code that ‘needs’ him/ her.

on JUSTIFYING POOR RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOUR - being emotional UNAVAILABLE

. emotional unavailability, which gives the person GREAT SKILLS at rationalising its poor relationship behaviour, will even mentally separate his virtual activity from his ‘real world’ activity.

on INTERNET DATING and MR. UNAVAILABLES

. Mr Unavailables, whether they are unavailable because they are currently in a relationship or just out of one, or addicted to a substance, or are immature, mentally ill, or whatever their issue is, will be looking for a site where women are quick prey.

They will want access to a lot of women while spending the least time and money - this clearly explains the MR. Emotional Unavailable pattern behaviour of UNGENEROSITY - they will economize to the maximum theyre time and effort, giving little of theyre time, money and or mentally and emotional commitment. They are there to TAKE.

THIS is PSYCHOLOGY - emotional negative patterns and beliefs male/ female

Recently I have found awarness on my personal emotional background and I have been very keen to approach it mentally and to understand the big picture, not primarly on me personally, but the BIG picture - im talking about GLOBAL PATTERNS - understanding the mechanics involved in negative standard emotional patterns, self-worth, male/female co-dependency and self belief.

Understanding the mechanics, recognizing patterns, identifying triggers and overall controlling the process over clarity and understanding.

Surely, this is one of the many missing pieces I look for in my life - trying to complete the puzzle of truth - who am I, how do I work? what are my beliefs? what are my patterns and its functional mechanics? and finally the end question, and the most important one:

who do I want to be ?
what do I choose to take as my core beliefs?

These are two LIFETIME biggies - but the fact one can ask to itself these questions - is a highe achievement in a way, it means already you have broken off someway with negative self and general beliefs that you do not have a choice to who you are and what do you believe in this life - the FATAL TRAP of FATALISM ( and do I know about Fatalism myself ? )

I realize now, that FATALISM although with its high price ( you become a slave of circumstances , a particule of dust forever lost ands floating weightless in life - no weight, no decision, no power, no voice, no responsability - always a victim, never a maker ) - its endlessy more appealing to conform to rather than facing the overwhelming RESPONSABILITY that is the belief that you have a CHOICE to how you CHANGE and DEVELOP as a individual human being, how you MAKE yourself trouth life as a INDIVIDUAL and crucially reflected with this WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE AS TO YOUR BELIEFs.

It takes a lot of guts to CHHOSE to be RESPONSIBLE for yourself, your emotions and your beliefs, to CHOOSE YOUR BELIEFS and even more to keep faithful to this choice steadly as you go trough life.

RESPONSABILITY - to make YOURSELF, to CHOOSE, to face the boundaries of CONTROL (we can not control OTHERS or at some point EVENTS - the ONLY realistic source of CONTROL in life we will ever have is OURSELVES - and that is more than enough in your plate to deal with). And with all this come other type of responsabilities - the fine, dangerous line of our impact in others - AWARNESS of the patterns we slip into and our co-dependency effect on OTHERS.

This is why I personally believe, that there are NO CONFLICT, NO PROBLEMS, NO PAIN between people ( whatever theyre emotional satus: friends, family, partners, lovers, enemies ) that cannot be SOLVED or HEALED. In a way, we have a underlying moral responsability to OTHERS to KNOW OURSELVES and our beliefs first - if we do this, we will always have the HEALING CLARITY within ourselves to avoid NEGATIVE situations, within ourselves and especially those who will affect others.

One of my life beliefs is TRUTH - no matter how hard, or painful - IT WILL AWLAYS PROVIDE HEALING CLARITY to everyone. THE TRUTH cannot ever be a BAD THING - so why do people hide it so much? hide from it so much? you know if you have a wound in your flesh, you will have to disinfect it - that will be painful, but absolutely CRUCIAL for the HEALING PROCESS.

Embrassing TRUTH in my life, probably as my core bone, my ground belief - in all its consequences - gives me in fact a great HOPE, and STRENGHT and MOTIVATION to make my life, to live my life which in the end seems to be mainly about FINDING THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF and WHITIHN THE OTHERS around me.

I have a belief also, that the best media to understand people and myself is to study emotional and relantionship patterns - as unvariably - these always reflect the inner core of self belief and self esteem.

What is the TRUTH of our beliefs?
Do we know?
Do I know?

I surely plan to find out over my lifetime - and that I have decided will be my career in this life.

THIS is MUSIC - NOVOS BAIANOS

Antoher musical gem to my life playlist -  I found these accidentally on my youtube related videos -  so thank you destiny to drop these in there. If not anything else, life is worth living by the good feeling of waking up in the morning, put this music on really loud, let in sink in the body and soul, bringing this two together and being happy in the morning -  feeling alive :)

The band itself from the 70s had and lived accordingly to its beliefs and own communal philosophy -  is there anything better than being a hippie, im serious considering its not - leave it all behind, the mobiles, the laptops, the material and social pretentious, pressure and self destructive ambitious of "conventional " success as this society impinge on us - taking only the essential ( 3x meals per day, enough to  get by,  5 changes of clothes ) taking the essential and primal to human happiness - your DREAMS. If you can keep and live with these steadily in your life congratulations, you have just discovered something hard to recognize: happiness. Its not for the fainted hearted, or conformist, is for the warriors only -  happiness.

Can and want we to fight?
Do I want to fight?

Some of my favorites. I like nearly all.

THIS is FILM - Photography, Vanity and Identity - playing la Berlinesa.

Photography, vanity and identity -  on going project on self portraits.

Playing a name stayed in my head - la Berlinesa ( possibly a syllable expression of upcoming desired trips ).

What happens when in front of the camera - like Barthes refer in his Lucida Camera - what is so fascinating in photography and in portraits especially, is  the many layers juxtaposed - and the non visual info it conveys, willingly or not, consciously or not - the beauty of the complexity of all these moments who merge when someone takes our portrait: in a fraction of second a voluntary or involuntary decision has to be made, before the shutter goes off: we are faced with the heavy responsibility of the attempt of how to present ourselves to others, the infinite, the forever ( as still, photography is seen as a potential media in which we have access to overcome our death and prolong beyond that our presence ).

The layers merge at the time of the shutter, more or less truthful, dyslexic, poetic or harsh, in a  assertive or clumsy way. The final image is always going to be a juxtaposition of:  who we are ( many times not without discontent ), who we would like to be, who we can be -  in the end always a personal image of true conveyed trough  a  more or less see trough curtain of lies, illusions, aspirations and fears.

The complexity of identity and validation, the torture of vanity, the timeless certainty  of photography.

THIS is CINEMA - my latest vision

Today I woke up with a vivid image of Mr. Cameron on a Marie Antoinette hairdo, saying : LET THEM EAT CAKE - well we would like to, very much.

THIS is LIFE - its a date

 ( I was just kinda of reflecting, that ... ) in terms of a desirable male it is really difficult to beat Gaddafi and Silvio Berlusconi.

THIS is MUSIC - PAOLO CONTE

A new add to my life gem playlist - Paolo Conte. Thank you T.

Clown -  Paolo Conte

Clown, perdona, clown
se non si ride e non si applaude qui
clown, capisci, clown
siamo insensibili

Clown, guardaci, clown
siamo sicuri di non esserci
clown, capisci, clown
siamo invisibili