Sunday, 12 December 2010

THIS is NY - Angela made the shot

So, as still officially sick - must stay at home for 4 days the doctor said -  and I lost know 97% of my voice -  its a strange, interesting new experience, not being able to speak.

So, I have now lots of time at home -  which feels strange, as I am almost NEVER home - so one of my goals is to get on track on the photos uploads pilled on my desk -  I notice I shot less these days - maybe there is a strange connection with shooting past and present -  somehow I feel as the end of the year is coming so quickly  I need to put out all of this  and rest in sleep in peace all the wonderful events of 2010.

K, but getting back to this post - thought a bit interesting always to record as well my presence in others eyes/ experiences -  I am always the one shooting and naturally this means I am always the invisible presence - I kinda like it that way -  having a visual appearance itself became somehow -  strange -  I can hardly recognize myself sometimes.

Heres some photos of NY, mainly halloween where J. made sure where I made into the shot.


@ Cave before going to halloween night
spotted a perfect compositional moment -  quick snap -  the foot and the monster head


this is not me but could not resist - is  a brill. snap
J. on the taxi journey, strolling over brooklyn to find some money
? was this a halloween joke ?


Money found =  party night
(!) never go partying on a empty stomach (!)
Do I look over 21 ?
Stop eating cookies Angela (!)


inside Heavy Metal
passed over 21 entrance test (!)



( ^^ ) two white devils ( ^^ )


Mystery man of the night


American white body composition


Joint bug outfit (?)


I stretch
Starting the stretch - for the next morning class
only 3 hours ahead ?


no, I angry


no, I pretty


Best free creative performance entertainment in all world
BROOKLYN tube


Me and Suzuki San photo by J.
I like this photo but it is strange
I look distracted, but in truth I was not
I was paying very much attention to Suzuki's words
- its kinda of a deceiving moment I think - 
( now I think, very cute jeans ^^  looks nice next with gloves )





Saturday, 11 December 2010

THIS is WORK - sculpture life modeling - black wax its not a EASY job

 The  french sculpture sessions came to an end -  finishing up a 7 or 8 week sustained pose for black wax statues -  I will miss these sessions -  over these past few weeks I was indirectly introduced to sculpture and how it works - its fascinating and very, very hard work I found.

Here some important personal thoughts on the experience.

Wax Puzzled

Especially the wax media -  I found it, just by observing such a arduous, almost exhausting material to work, to transform from its  dead square, rigid,  plain way to a organic, living , flesh, bone and blood pulsating human body shape - let me tell you, many times over the hours I was posing I could not help t feel a sense of admiration for these artists who so perseveringly , endured the war with the wax, little by little, patiently, attempt, by attempt over 7 weeks or so to arrive at my suggested sense of shape and gesture in the pose.

When you first look at a block of virgin wax -  you can not help to think -  how the h*ell are they going to use this to build a body? its so compact,  cold and very stiff, being initially manipulation only possible by and cutting with a considerable amount of strength and a good knife. So all the work begins, with the hard work of having to shave thin slices of wax at a time - at this stage they are still stiff so little chance to make it to shape form -  so the second stage is to immerse the wax shavings into some hot water - only than, this stubborn material gives in a little bit and makes itself somehow maleable to shaping ( still some considerable pressure and finger physical work needs to be applied to form body shape). If this is not enough to put you off to start to build a 50/60 cm height full 3D body sculpture - them it follows hours, and hours, of minuce observation : body masses assembly, body gesture, movement, bone, muscle, tendons, body proportion, body texture ( its different in different parts of the body - the bony, the soft, the muscular - and its s different from body to body) -  and adding a never-ending number of small wax shavings over and over, until the first shapes are created - and them it goes on and on -  it is really a never ending work of observation and trial - like RODIN expressed himself, a sculpture contrary to a painting, or a poem, or a piece of music is always a unfinished work.

Weight and structure


First steps, big decisions -  no pressure. A 60 cms height  full wax statue -  apart from observation and perseverance and patient -  involves also other type of challenges -  ( scultpure really must be technically the most problematic, temperament, persistence tester form of art -  the artist seems to be constantly tested on the process of trying to bring his piece into the material world -  as I said before, it is not easy) - gravity challenges.

So a mediun sized statue like this one -  will require a inside metal armature to support and the body wax building process ( yes, those millions of little wax shavings, pressed against eachtoher  stubbornely to express form and mass ). Also this structure will not only define the durability of the piece ( will it stand or will it fall ) but also in its primary construction the artist needs to read the pose movement in terms of main gestures ( skeletal movement) to ensure the right gesture  - as all those other 100s of hours will be spent working on this first crucial decisions - you kinda off want to get it right - feeling the pressure (?)

I was  (!) - I guess I could not be a sculptor -  one needs a very disciplined, analytical, patient mind.


No Pain, no Pose

In terms of the pose, this was also not a easy one for me. Actually I must admit it was one the most difficult sustained poses I had -  I was surprised I must confess, you look at the gesture, and though the gesture is dynamic and gracious enough -  one  would look at it and not make a big physical challenge over it - WRONG (!) -  actually you just need the first 30 minutes to start to see clearly all the points where it will go into PAIN territory :

1) Full body weight on one leg ( smartly I decided to use my right leg- which is my weaker leg - at the time convinced the challenge would be good to make it stronger -  it did got stronger after 7 weeks -  not without  pain though )

2) Strong upper body back torsion  with back spiral inclination-  this obviously will and tension not only to your lower back by compressing it ( in all of my breaks I had to regurlary stretch my lower back ) but also as it is putting you in a somehow off balance position -  it is making your body weight heavier -  so a extra strain to the body weight on the supporting leg

3) Lower body off balance to front - basically, the pose I wanted to create, was a subtle suggestion of standing spiral movement - to achieve this  I had to position differently, different parts of the body - positioning my lower right leg and hip out of axis front side, created a extraordinary amount of extra pressure on my knee joints ( this was especially hard to sustain after retuning from my NY butoh trip - where I gave  quite a lot of work to my knees with all that collapsing and falling )

4) The reclining back contorted neck -  most of us are not aware how heavy our head is and how strong your neck muscles and tendons are in a natural position -  this means - once we change the natural head  position, which is straight and standing - we immediately create a unnatural strain  weight relationship between head and neck - that the neck tendons and muscles are not familiar with -  suddenly you realize how heavy your head really is.

With posing and sustaining  shape and movement with the body -  here are the facts -  here it is how it works:

know all of this things ( the off balance, the extra weight, the torsion's, the compressions, the neck tendons weight strain )  you dont notice in the first 3 hour session so much -  it  is as the sessions progress- you will realize the body holds the most extraordinary shape and pain memory relationship -  so what happens is that while you can tolerate pain well in the first hours -  sustaining the same pose -  as you go further into more sessions - the first minutes you try to regain the pose - the body immediately alerts you with pain - telling you: hey, wait a minute I remember this from last week, its painful and I dont like it, change it or i will keep on giving you pain  - so even after a week rest -  you are basically facing the remaining posing time with at a degree of pain or discomfort.

This is the life model challenge, and with experience you learn to control your body and mind regarding pain and these kind of panicky alerts ( its funny to watch how the body can real be panicky sometimes and how the mind can hysterically support that ).

Most of the control is done by the mind: so when the body shots panicky alerts of pain - only  by controlling your mind you can kinds off turn the volume down of your body screaming to you - its painful, its painful, stop it. The mind here learns t say: shhh, its OK- the pain is Ok and so the body relaxes to the presence of pain - and this means I can continue sustaining my pose.

The last challenge comes ironically from the mind too - I like to describe it as a mind anxiety attack -  that is very common, especially when you dont have a lot of experience modeling - your mind is not used to a situation where it is required from you not to move and to be still for an unusual long period of time -  the mind very often here reacts back to this new unknown situation with a anxiety -  where for not  justified triggering reason your mind just gets anxious and panicky, ordering you to move -  when you ignore it, the clever, bossy thing them sends panic to your physical body which can manifest in many different ways: for me personally in past experience it feels like a lack of hair, lack of breathing kind off - as my mind is making a  unrational link on my head that if I not move I cannot breath well.
The only way this time to control the mind itself, when it is in this panic, unrational mode is by reason -  a kind of reason that only experience can give you - as you know from experience what kind of tricks your mind can play at your and your body -  and the reassurance that most of these anxieties are unreal and unfounded.

So, for those of you who thought maybe that life modeling, is to a certain extent a easy job, suitable for a somewhat soulless and mindless  individual - I hope my experience could be a redirecting light in that form of tough -  as all great artist know truly the role and importance of the model to the final result of the work. Unf. still these days,  many life modeling professionals are low rating -  and yes, you do get many soulesss, mindless ( even beautiful)  people out there who will pose for you - but believe me you will see a difference.


Some of my favorite pieces - some photos below
while alone with the statues, observing my movement, the gesture of my body and also very intriguing to be able in each statue to trace back the artist finger builds up movements -  the movement choices of the artist -  the finger pressing, allocating another piece of wax shaving - creating, adding, sculpting the pose, the movement, the gesture.

So incredible, one can see two very distinct forms of movement in the final pieces : the model;s and the artists different movement, fused in one final piece -  so in a way, it could be seen as a collaboration - pas vrai (?)



My pose on Alines statue - my favorite piece


I find she captured really well my body gesture -  especially upper torso
and pelvic section



A interesting view -  looking at the relationship
the neck, head and arms formed with this pose





the same pose -  the same body -  interpreted differently by 3 artist -  different positioning
Found interesting the choreographic potential of combining them together




exploring more shape/ choreographing potential situation
with the pieces -  you need SO LITTLE to create (!)
only one pose -  replicated by  more bodys



extremely poetic view
shot taken from the upper cupboard
the exposed wired from the unfinished arms
add a lot of poetic suggestion to the shot


exploring more shape/ choreographing potential situation
one pose -  one body -  different views - different situations
I also like the fact that  4 figures are suggesting the models movement
on the second attention is really pulled to the artist finger build up movement
( all those pressed little wax shavings, pressed over the weeks, one by one to
form the body)


really good view expressing the beauty of the movement
created in the pose between the neck -  shoulder and arms


seeing and tracing the artist sculpting map of the finger
  pressed wax finger prints on the figure


the real MAGIC of sculpture
the figures appear to become alive and dance in silence between themselves


a unknown self view

Friday, 10 December 2010

THIS is WORK - Sculpture life modeling

Modeling for clay sculpture for Hywel's class. The best part of modeling, apart from being able of course to see how the artists works and the development of theyre work -  is to listen to the teachers -
sometimes I almost think I should be paying to listen -  especially in sculpture the perception and approach to the body is so different from any other art media, its really interesting to see how to break in from real life form to sculpture.

Listening all the time, learning so much and now having myself as well incorporated a new perception of my own body and sculpture -  I will never see again the body or sculpture the same way. I have now developed a extra sense of admiration for this media and its artist -  many times I was so puzzled to think, how are they gonna build this shape trough  pure observation ) we see 2D but the sculpture  engulfs simultaneously 3D. Well the way they do it, is trough many hours of perseverance observation and trial, and ultimately to build up a sculptor eye - one who is very sensitive to human shape and most importantly devotedly dedicated to scrutinize detail in all human shape from knees, to elbows, to necks, to face muscles.

Kindly Hywel  took these nice photos of me while posing - Thank you and I think you are approved on film shooting.






Wednesday, 8 December 2010

THIS is FILM - ALL you need is FRIENDS - M. Birthday

Finally this year I managed to stay in London for M. birthday -  my life changed so much this year, the Year of the Tiger -  I can hardly believe or recognize who I was before or my life before.

As would to be expected from M., his birthday was relaxed, warm and intimate, at a cozy pizza place -  no exaggerations, no masks -  wiht M. is all about the human experience, all about people just being together.

I ask, so ure finally 21 hey ? M. does not enjoy  age related humor - 25 ANGELA, 25, I am 25 ANGELA - pls stop with the age thing -  I find it ( sweet - he finds it annoying -  I guess time stopped for me on M. adulthood when I met him at 17 and he looked like he was 13 ( it did not seems so long ago ).

It was freezing, so after we head back home -  staying at this place to avoid impossible night freeze commuting -  the poor pitbull puppy of the neighbors ( just wanted to steal him and take it home with me ) some interesting talking, some J. time and of course bedtime youtube video humor lullabys -  web theraphy -  he always knows the best american site coms.

The pajamas, one of the best part of the sleeping over experience -  M probably has the most enviable, cool, low key collection of madras very oversized pajamas pants - I love them all -  and first though is always these would be so cool to dance on - and waiting for the day he will say - you can keep that one.

Middle of night: I am hungry ! - M. brings back a old metal thin box  - whats this  I ask ?
Food he says ( laughs) -  as it opens the box inside: jelly beans, chocolate, gunmy gellies -  well I guess this is mid 20,s 3a.m. food -  I was into for a shock but surrendered to the meal ( laugh).

Next day, the nice hangover feeling, the silence of the flat, waking up to Mr. donkey and monkey, the mormign first view, the typical post it notes ands some shots before I leave the flat

As always, time spent together is always time well spent - two friend Tigers -  is good be your friend, hang out and to be able occasionally to peep inside your always curious mid 20's world

Happy Birthday to my friend M.



before -  mr Henry and Diana R.


birthday wished - worldwide


Amusing Gay Panda


Typically  - Fashion - Marie


Brown cake, pink knife



Angela's slice



Dream box


Germania lounge couch


vertical -  self portrait


First morning view -  waking up 


Second morning view - mr. Monkey


Third morning view - note 1


Note reply -  Web Theraphy




Last night meal -  First day food


Other notes


shelf peep view


The strangest couple


German wrestler vs Toy Story


Friday, 3 December 2010

THIS is FILM - the LAST PHOTO of NY

 The last photo of NY - @ JFK eating some quick noodles at 9.00 pm before boarding back to London.

At the end, cracking my luck with the fortune cookie
and so GOOD NEWS really did came after -  the LAST NY PHOTO.

THIS is MOVEMENT - Movement diary from NY

Some video diaries of movement - looking, discovering, analyzing while doing workshop in NY.

Movement sketch are a series of self recorded extracts of improvisations where the goal is to create, record, identify, analyze and develop self natural movement.

Core question of this project are:
what kind of natural movement does my body produces ?
what are the improvisational movement choices made by my body ?
what qualities does it express ?





MOVEMENT SKETCH - 1 - BUTOH PIROUETTE




PERSONAL NOTE: Butoh or collapsed pirouette - combining two very personal my own experiences - ballet ( past) + injury = seeing the new = translating to butoh collapsing references = creates a new movement. I like the result of the movement visually but also conceptually, associating a collapsing end to a classic figure like pirouette - also I think is very relevant these days to dance - were exciting - all tabus are being broken - and so the fall ( which in the past and especially in classic ballet is not acceptable in the performance ) is now the key point to add freshness to a old movement figure- the pirouette.



MOVEMENT SKETCH - 2 - Soft and furious




PERSONAL NOTE: the feeling here was on the focus of the sensation of my body and the movement
it naturally wants to generate: soft - in slow or faster speed, gentle or aggressive movement -  there seems to be a constant quality strongly felt in the body - the body is soft, my body is soft.

Slowly, expressing softness and chaos ( disorientation, unbalance, collapsing and especially trying to explore and prolong the physical time before collapsing -  feels exciting this little new time to explore -  and I find later interesting movement here ) -  in some moments appears a quality of elasticity in the body - a soft but chaotic elasticity -  especially as momentum build up for pre- collapse movement.

Chaotic, elastic softness builded up naturally in this improvisation -  to a peak moment of furious repetitive collapsing/standing movement figure -  I liked it visually and as a closing moment of finding a  relevant end to this little movement search / journey.


MOVEMENT SKETCH - 4  -  Whispering movement ( Whisper 3 )